Child of the wilderness
by em-the-red-rose
Summary: I would figure this out with the help of my long time friend; Music. "Christine, would you please sing for me?" set in the final lair scene. mostly ALW but a tad mix of SK and GL.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yes! My computer finally cooperated with me and once again I could write phanphics and stop those plot bunnies from attacking me. By the way, for those who are reading my other story **_**"the music in you"**_** I don't know when I could update so please forgive me!  
Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this story. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

_**xxxXXxxx**_

**Erik POV**

_**Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair!**_

_**Down we plunge to the prison of my mind.**_

_**Down that path into darkness deep as hell!**_

I dragged her towards my home and away from that _boy_. Just thinking about him makes me sick! I paused for awhile and glanced at my poor damsel in distress.

_**Why you ask was I bound in chain in this cold and dismal place?**_

_**Not for any mortal sin, but the wickedness of my abhorrent face!**_

I continued on dragging her. Instead of leading her towards the lake, I took a different passageway in order to get to the lair quicker.

_**Hounded out by everyone**_

_**Met with hatred anywhere**_

_**No kind words from anyone **_

_**No compassion anywhere.**_

We reached my home and I looked into her eyes.

_**Christine, why? WHY?!**_

She just stared at me and what I saw broke my heart once again. I saw hatred and fear. I looked away.

"In your room there is a dress, change and be ready." I ordered her.

She quickly retreated from my wretched presence and immediately bolted the door once she got in. she knows what I could do, and she knows those locks are useless against me. I sat down in the piano bench and put my head into my hands. Everything is finally sinking down. My mind is racing, so many thoughts.

A side of me wanted her to be happy. To give up my own joy just to make her happy, to sacrifice all the things I gave to her in turn for her smiles. And yet there's the dark side in me saying that I should keep her in my home until she learns to love me…until I could **make** her love me!

Erik deserves happiness, right? Every human deserves happiness be it a few seconds or for eternity. But is Erik a man? Everyone says he's nothing but a monster. No one wants to see the man behind the monster and if they don't want the man, they'll get the monster. Erik will be what the world sees him to be, what the world wants him to be!

A loathsome monster that destroys everything it touches.

I stood up and shake my head a few times and headed towards my room to fetch a white mask. I wore a Persian robe over my white poet's shirt and grabbed a jet black wig.

When I got out she still hasn't emerged from her room. I went to the kitchen and fixed myself up a cup of tea. I took a few sips and headed to the piano.

I remembered a song I composed when I was young and still stuck to that horrid gypsy fair. I played the tune unconsciously and I could hear the opening of a door and silent footsteps that stopped a few feet shy away from me. when I was finished I turned and my jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

She was gorgeous, magnificent. The white dress gave her a very angelic glow. I feel like I was falling in love with her all over again, I shook my head and dropped my gaze to the piano keys.

"what do you want from me?" her voice rang in the confines of the room.

"What does every man wants when he supposedly proposes to the woman he loves in front of hundreds of people?"

It was a rhetorical question. My tone was slightly furious as I remembered her unmasking me in front of everyone.

"B-but I don't love you!" she yelled at me and this time I turned around and looked her in the eye. I could see her fear cleverly concealed behind those eyes.

"Would it really matter?" she flinched. "would it really matter if I forced you to marry me? Many couples out there don't marry for love! Many are forced to marry someone they just met, someone they despised! What makes you think I won't take the risk of forcing you to marry me if there's a possibility that you may-"I cut myself off before I say something I would surely regret.

But it was too late, her eyes lit up with realization and I could only hope it was not disgust I saw in her eyes.

"Erik, you cannot make people love someone they don't! it takes time to develop."

_Time? If love develops over time, I guess I had too much time._ "so you are saying that love is like wine? The more it ages, the sweeter it gets.

"it could be but you know that there are many components to make the wine better? A mistake could lead to bad tasting wine that would more likely be a lost cost."

I flinched inside. I could feel fury coursing through my veins, I stood up and said. "A lost cost? Maybe I'm not good with love but without me Christine, you would still be in the ballet, crying your heart out every night because your father hasn't sent you the angel of music!"

I never knew she had this side of her. She always seems so shy, timid but now I could see her face turn red with fury and she looked up at me and all I could see in her eyes were hatred and unshed tears.

"I asked for an angel of music not a monster!" as soon as the words left her mouth, she covered it as if she could take it back, but it was too late. I imagined that I should feel furious, that I would undergo a rage-filled state where I would destroy the whole room but what happened totally surprised me. For a few seconds that might as well be an eternity, I was a child again, vulnerable and weak. I truly am a monster, even my angel thinks so.

I snapped out of it just to see Christine with tears sliding down her porcelain cheek. "Erik... I-I didn't mean it! I-I'm so sorry!" she stuttered. She was about to run back to her room when I grabbed her arm. It wasn't too tight, just tight enough that she would stay.

In almost a child-like tone I asked her. "Why can't Christine love Erik?"

She seems confused on why I was speaking in third person. She looked down as more tears fell.

"Because I love Raoul, I'm engaged to him."

Emptiness filled my being. I no longer know what to do. I do not want to be a monster any more yet for some reason I can't be a man either, for only with Christine do I dare feel like a normal man.

I would figure this out with the help of my long time friend; Music.

"Christine, would you please sing for me?"

**xxxXXxxx**

**A/N: so did you like it? hate it? I really want to hear your opinion on this one. I'm currently experimenting on the characters' attitude. I'm trying to make Erik a little unstable but not too unstable. I'm making Christine have a little more back bone. Forgive me if there was something wrong with my grammar or anything at all(especially the wine bit, i have absolutely no idea where that came from!) , and please let me know if you think the characters are too OC, okay?**

_**Your obedient servant,**_

_**E.M.**_


	2. Learn to be lonely

_**Erik POV**_

I asked her to sing for me and she just stood there gaping at me. I couldn't blame her, after what transpired a few minutes ago, shock would be a huge understatement. I have no idea why those words tumbled out off my mouth, perhaps it was simply a moment of impulsiveness or maybe it was wishful thinking.

I looked into her eyes and saw her brown eyes gazing into my golden ones. The confusion in them was as clear as the night sky above us. "I would understand if you refused…" I trailed off as I looked towards my feet. I sensed, rather than heard, her sigh. "I will sing for you." I was filled with so much joy. After everything that has happened, she will still sing for me! My happiness did not last very long, for as I raised my head to meet her eyes, I saw sadness and longing. I have seen that look before, that look that people get when they so desperately want something and to know that no matter how hard you try, you will never get it. Yes, I have seen that look far too many times as I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. What little hope I had seemed to crumble at that moment.

"Thank you" I murmured as I led her towards the organ. I gave her the sheet music and my heart nearly stopped as I felt our fingers brushed. I searched her face for disgust but found none; it was as though it never happened. I sighed and began playing, my fingers knowing exactly what keys to press. I closed my eyes as I heard her angelic voice.

_Child of the wilderness__  
__Born into emptiness__  
__Learn to be lonely__  
__Learn to find your way in darkness_

I have composed this song when I was young and naïve. I used to sing it to myself when I was in the attic that served as my room back in my poor unhappy mother's house. This song was my lullaby especially during the cold nights in the gypsy caravan.

_Who will be there for you, __  
__Comfort and care for you?__  
__Learn to be lonely__  
__Learn to be your one companion_

I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks and I could vaguely hear tears in Christine's voice as well but I didn't stop.

_Never dreamed out in the world__  
__there are arms to hold you__  
__you've always known__  
__your heart was on its own_

I always knew I'd be alone. Many people around the globe made it clear.

_So laugh in your loneliness__  
__Child of the wilderness__  
__Learn to be lonely__  
__Learn how to love life that is lived alone_

A sob broke through the confines of my body. It was as though I wasn't the phantom anymore nor was I the angel of doom or any of the other monikers I've encountered with since roaming the world. I felt like I was a child again, back in my room as Mlle. Perrault bandages my hand after I punched the mirror which housed the 'monster' I was so very afraid of.

I stopped playing and I unconsciously looked down at my scarred hands as I softly sang,

_**Learn to be lonely**_

_**Life can be lived,**_

_**Life can be loved**_

_**Alone.**_

I wiped away the tears in my eyes with my sleeve and fished out a handkerchief in my pocket for Christine. She took it gratefully. When she managed to compose herself she asked me, "When did you write it?" I cleared my throat "when I was a child"

"I'm sorry Erik, I'm sorry for all the pain I've given you." She paused. I know where this is going. Perhaps I was hoping that music would coax her back to my arms, or perhaps she could actually learn to love me.

"I care about you, but I love Raoul."

Just the sound of that boy's name made my blood boil.

"Love." I muttered "love can make you so a lot of thing you never dreamed you could do. It could push you beyond your breaking point and yet keep you firmly within its grasp. No one could understand what love is and when you get caught, there's no going back. What can your boy do for you Christine? He could give you a title, spoil you with trinkets from his travels, perhaps even beautiful and perfect children but will that be what you truly want?" I'm beginning to get desperate. I can no longer think properly. "Could he give you music? Our music? If you marry him, they will keep you locked up and forbid you to sing! What about your dream of singing as prima donna in the opera house? Your dream that I helped you to reach?"

I grabbed her arm and looked into her chocolate brown eyes, "Is that what you want?"

She broke free of my grasp and looked at me with her eyes aflame with fury. "This is my life and I will live it as I see fit! You call me naïve and ignorant yet you keep controlling me. You and Raoul forced me to sing in your opera even though I didn't want to. You have the nerve to claim betrayal when I agreed to marry Raoul in the rooftop yet you're the one who lied to me first. You told me you were the angel of music yet you and I know you're far from being an angel"

I stood there agape as her chest heaved with every breath. It stung. I guess the truth really hurts, especially when the person you loved with every fiber of your being said it to your face. A familiar ache below my ribcage started to spread across my chest but I chose to ignore it for a while.

I saw her face morphed from fury to horror as the words she said finally dawned upon her. "Oh God, I-I-"

She looked liked a lost child, needing comfort.

What I did surprised both of us; I nearly flinched away yet forced myself to stay. Never in my wildest dreams would I dare do this, but I did it anyway.

I hugged her.

**xxXxx**

**A/N: hello there! Sorry for the delay but I just couldn't get to the computer long enough to actually **_**write**_**. My cousin keeps peeking in the monitor and I can't write while someone's watching me/reading my work.**

**Please leave a comment if you liked it or if you hated it. Sorry for any mistakes but it's almost 1 a.m. here so… see 'ya later.**

_Your obedient servant,_

_E.M._


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